Thursday, February 16, 2006


"Just what we need . . . another stupid fucking poker blog."

I can just almost hear those exact words tumbling from the lips of anyone that accidently stumbles across this blog on their way to something actually worth reading. To be honest, they're probably right. There are already hundreds, if not thousands, of poker blogs floating out there (here?) in the interweb. While most are complete and utter garbage, there are more than just a few that I eagerly look forward to reading every day (the blogs I read on a daily basis will be linked up as soon as my technologically-retarted mind is able to figure out how to create links). Given the standards set by those elite writers, I sincerely doubt that I can possibly create anything to make me stand out from the crowd of mediocrity.

"If that's the case, why bother ?"

While this would seem to be the next logical question, my answer wouldn't make sense without giving some basic background information about myself.

"Ok then . . . who are you?"

Have you ever tried to anser that question? Honestly, take a minute and try to briefly summarize your identity. I thought it would be easy but turns out not so much. While this is by no means complete, I guess I'll start with the following:

Age: 30

Despite the fact that I've crossed the imaginary line leading into my thirties, I look FAR younger than my actual age. I still get carded for lottery tickets on a regular basis (I buy a MegaMillions ticket every now and then just to imagine what I would do if I won) and was asked to show my license before I could buy a ticket to an R-rated movie last summer. Of course, this sometimes drives my wife (who is less than one year older than me) completely nuts:
  • Last year we went out to for a nice dinner on our anniversary and I ordered a nice bottle of wine (Cloudy Bay Savignon Blanc for anyone that cares). The waiter turned to me and asked to see my ID. When my wife reached into her purse to get her license, the waiter quickly turned to her and said "Don't worry ma'am, I don't need to see your ID." What a stupid fucking thing for a waiter to say if he has any hopes of getting a decent tip.
  • My wife switched jobs about 18 months ago and her office had a party after work shortly thereafter (by the way, "thereafter" is one of my favorite words . . . right up there with "operative"). The day after the party, three or four of her coworkers came into her office to ask how old I was. Before she could answer, they made a series of jokes about her dating a younger man and being a cradle-robber.

Gender: Male

Kinda gave this one away by referring to "my wife", though I do live in Massachusetts so anything is possible (for the record, I'm a liberal and fully support the SJC's decision to allow gay marriage's in Massachusetts).

Race: White

Though I am 25% Native American, split between two different tribes, I'm about as white as mayonaisse. Kentrell Johnson is not my actual name. It's a long-running joke between me and some of my buddies from school.

Marital Status: Married

Again, kinda spilled the beans on this one above. My wife and I have been together for about 7.5 years and we got married about 2.5 years ago.

Children: Coming soon

My wife is currently 8 months pregnant with our firstborn. He - it's a boy - is expected to arrive on St. Patrick's Day, which just gives me another excuse to celebrate with a pint (or six) of Guiness.

Occupation: Attorney

I've heard more lawyer jokes than you can possibly imagine. They started coming in about two days after I took the LSAT back in 1999 and have continued unabated ever since. Feel free to post them in the comments. In fact, I may eventually offer a bounty for anyone that can post a lawyer joke I haven't heard that makes me laugh.

Location: Suburbs of Boston, Massachusetts

I've lived in Massachusetts almost my entire life, the only exceptions being that I was born in North Carolina (lived there until I was 14 months old) and that I went to law school in DC. As would be expected of someone from Boston, I am very much a liberal on the vast majority of polical and social issues. However, given the volume of legal/political/social crap I deal with on a daily basis at work, I try to avoid discussing those topics as much as possible when not at work so you don't have to worry about me preaching here. For the record, my wife and I are hoping to relocate to Austin and will do so as soon as I find a job there. I know it may seem strange that a liberal Masshole wants to move to the capital of Texas, a state not exactly known for its liberal tendencies, but anyone that has ever been to Austin will understand. While there are a number of reasons we'd like to move, I'll give three here. First, while I love Boston, the cost of living here is just fucking ridiculous and I work for a small law firm so I don't make the absurd money people always associate with attorneys working at downtown lawfirms. Second, with my son due to arrive soon, I'd like to live someplace where I'm not going to be expected to put in 70 hours per week. Third, my wife HATES the cold. I cannot possibly emphasize that enough.


There is a long list that could go here, but I'll start with these three and add more in my future posts.

Poker - duh . . .

Wine - When I was in law school, a buddy of mine somehow convinced the school adminstration to fund a wine tasting group that would hold monthly tastings. He would pick a theme, usually a particular varietal (e.g. Cabernet Sauvignon or Sauvignon Blanc) or region (e.g. Bordeaux or Burgundy), and would get six different wines at various price points for a tasting after classes wrapped up on Friday afternoon. At the time, I was basically what you'd expect of a recent college graduate - I drank beer and lots of it.* However, this was essentially school-funded pregaming I was not going to turn down an opportunity to drink free wine before going out for the night. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of actually listening to the guy when he explained the wines we were drinking and developed a taste for the stuff. I've been hooked ever since.

* - With all apologies to AlCantHang, whom I admire more than I could possibly explain here, I drink almost exclusively beer (Guiness and Boddington's are personal favorites) and wine (generally prefer red wines, but I'll discuss this more at a future date). There are, of course, some exceptions. First, I will rarely (if ever) turn down a Margarita or Gin+Tonic on a hot summer day. Second, any drink with an umbrella is perfect when on a tropical island. Third, I enjoy an occassionl scotch or sipping rum.

Lifting - Shortly after starting law school, I realized that I was going to have to do something to avoid getting very fat from spending so much time studying (I did actually study during the first year of law school) and drinking (didn't drink during the week, but more than made up for it on Friday and Saturday nights). I started working out in the weight room in the dorm basement and discovered that I REALLY enjoyed it. Over the course of the next year or two, I got myself into very good shape - 190 pounds at 6'1" while cutting my bodyfat down to about 6%. While I was able to maintain the regimen through law school and the first 2 or 3 years of being an attorney, I've slacked off way too much lately and am horrified at the effect it's had on me. It's going to be tough to get back into a regular routine with the baby on the way, but I have to do something.

"Now how about getting back to explaining why you're starting this thing?"

I could try to give some bullshit excuse about how it is my lifelong dream to be a writer and that I hope to follow in the footsteps of Otis and Pauly by parlaying this blog into a writing career. Don't get me wrong, I very much admire what they have done and would be lying if I wasn't insanely jealous. However, I'm a realist.

When it comes to legal writing, I'm fucking good at what I do. I'm not saying that to brag, but I know where my strengths are and I use those strengths to my advantage. Some lawyers have a phenomenal courtroom presence and can grab the attention of the most bored and disinterested jury. That's not me. Though the partners I work for say I do just fine in court, my specialty is legal research and writing. I don't worry about convincing the jury to side with my client because most of my cases are won long before trial based on motions and briefs.

I know that the quality of my legal writing. I also know that my creative writing doesnt come remotely close to the standards set by other poker bloggers. I can only dream of being able to tell a story the way that Pauly does (or to have such amazing stories to write for that matter). So no . . . I don't think that this is going to launch my professional writing career.

What it basically boils down to is this: I need a place where I can exercise a little creativity and write about the things that matter to me rather than spending all of my time and energy writing legal arguments for my clients. I need to tap into the other side of my brain for a while and get the wheels turning. I need to write about poker to help me shape my vague and not-yet-fully formed thoughts and ideas about poker. While I hope that someone out there enjoys what I write, I'm more concerned with taking some time to express myself.

"What should we expect?"

While I have no intention of limiting my writing, there are certainly some things that I expect will come up more than others. As one would expect given the name , I plan on writing about poker. However, I'll also discuss the joys and challenges of fatherhood, my adventures in the realm of trying to find a job half-way across the country in a city in which I have no personal contacts/connections, interesting stories from my past, and just about anything else that comes to mind when I'm seated in front of the keyboard.

Let the games begin.


At 12:04 PM, Blogger facty said...

Welcome to the wonderful world of the poker bloggers. You are off to a wonderful start and your personality really comes through in your writing. I cant wait to see a pic when your son arrives!

Consider attending one of the upcoming Las Vegas World Poker Blogger Tour get-togethers in Las Vegas. The next one is being organized for July 8th. There is always a fun tourney and you can meet all your favorite bloggers. There is be another one in December if you cant make this summer.

Anyway, it was a pleasure playing with you and Im glad you are blogging - keep it up!



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